Online Dating – Potential Dangers and Disasters

You’ve just clicked the last box in the long list of procedures to join XYZ online dating service, confident that everything you put in your profile was exactly as you wanted. You double checked, didn’t you?

Oops, you accidentally left in some key information that will make you readily identifiable to all your friends, family and co-workers. Now everybody will know about your absolute sheer desperation to find a partner.

Or worse! You put on your profile a photograph of yourself, half-plastered with alcohol at the last Christmas party, lipstick smeared across your cheeks (I haven’t mentioned any gender here, so whatever pictures you have in your mind are entirely your input).

So, you see. This is a potential minefield…and we haven’t even been out on our first date yet, have we?

But don’t despair or feel that the cat is out of the bag. You can always go back to the profile and change the details/remove the photos/delete your entire account if you are scared enough.

But let’s be serious here for a moment. In the following paragraphs I’m going to go through the three most apparent “dangers” of Internet dating.

The Stalker

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I will put this horrible creature at the top of the list. We have all heard the horrifying stories that have often ended in tragedy. Even murder. Quite often these terrible events have come after encounters on the more “adult-oriented” sites. Perhaps a threesome has become a deadly game filled with jealousy and hatred, after what seemed to be such a cool idea at the time.

Even on a more mundane level, there are nutters out there who have harassed poor women (and men) to the point of psychological breakdown. Yep, it happens.

But, there are ways to avoid this. These guidelines, by no means a definitive list, are especially relevant for women and may help you in a tricky situation.

  1. Never put direct contact details in a profile. Most dating sites will not allow this anyway, as long as their screening procedures are up to standard.
  2. Make sure your first meetings are in well-patronized areas, like a food-court in a shopping mall, or some other busy place. That way, if the man/woman turns out to be less than what you hoped for, you can blend into the crowd before slipping away.
  3. If you feel nervous, take along someone you know and trust well and have them observe you from a distance. You won’t believe how much more confident this makes some women feel.
  4. Don’t give your phone number to your new online friend until you feel it is safe to do so. When is this? Certainly not after date number one.
  5. This may sound drastic, but keep some form of protection (in addition to condoms!) in your handbag (mace, capsicum spray, a very loud alarm device) in case you find yourself alone and in an intimidating environment. In the same vein, go and get some self-defense lessons – it will keep you fit and desirable as well as give you valuable knowledge about groin attacks and the like!

The Don Juan Crook

These are men, nine times out of ten, and there are more and more stories of these guys emerging every day.

This is where a super-charmer convinces their new date/partner that they are world-famous, super successful and know all the celebrities. For some reason or other, all their funds are tied up in something, and they cannot get their hands on ready cash for day-to-day living, or for some other “sure-fire” investment.

Before you know it. Mr or Mrs Gullible Internet Dater have handed over their bank account details, credit cards, or even packed the rolls of cash into the suitcase before driving Don Juan to the airport and kissing him good-bye as he boards the plane for Rio!

How do you avoid these crooks? It can be difficult for lonely folks, especially widows and widowers (beware the female black spider!), so the best advice here is to enlist a friend or two to give you an absolutely candid appraisal of your new-found Prince/Princess Charming.

The Dishonest Dating Site with Fake Members

This problem had a bit of press in Australia recently. I won’t name the actual site, but the owners were punished by the courts and made to apologize to their members.

Sadly, it can be hard to spot the fake profiles, sometimes answering you via sophisticated software programs, or even by real people paid to pretend they are someone else (backpackers in Australia, for instance).

If you aren’t careful, these pseudo-daters can waste a lot of your valuable time and money.

The best way to avoid being scammed in this way is to ask specific questions that only a real person would know the answers to. For example, ask about current events in your local area. If they can’t or won’t answer, you might be dealing with a robot!

However, in my opinion, Internet dating is a great option in today’s fast-paced world. People are time poor, and lack the freedom to socialize they way it used to be in the “good old days’.

Online daters just need to be alert to the potential dangers, and take the appropriate steps to minimize the damage.

Happy dating!

Online Dating Guide – Why Can’t You Cure Loneliness With a Virtual Relationship on Dating Sites?

People used to feel lonely because they built walls instead of bridges. Thanks to the vast, anonymous reach of the internet, people are now building virtual bridges in online relationships and finding this can’t cure their lonely feelings. Discover how to fulfill a purpose and cure for loneliness and build a real bridge in your virtual relationships.

What is a purpose of loneliness?

Self discovery. Painful, empty feelings are a wake up call, urging us to find a path out of the pain. You can escape or dull it through drugs, serial dating, over-eating, over exercising, over-indulging in any activity without seeking positive personal growth.

The best pain reliever is to learn the lessons of loneliness in a time of solitude, which is loneliness with a purpose. During a painful break up or bout of lost love, you may feel that you have a mountain of solitude to tackle.

Instead of drifting into despair or depression over this overwhelming task, you can choose to use your alone time to find or refresh your life purpose and make progress on a path of personal growth.

Your new outlook and new actions are a purpose of loneliness and also its cure.

How do you cure loneliness?

By reviving your dreams and taking action on them everyday
By learning the love lesson from lost love and letting go of sad stories
By giving thanks for all the faces of love in your life
By seeing the wonders of you and strengthening your strengths, so your flaws lose power and importance
By recharging your health, which can take a beating during lonely times
By falling in love again, with yourself first, since healthy self love is a love magnet
By reaching out to build real bridges with people, cultivating local connections and virtual relationships
By learning how to make real connections your virtual relationships

How do you make a real connection in your virtual relationships?

You may feel encouraged, supported, safe and inspired by people you are meeting on internet dating sites via email, telephone or video chats.

You may be sharing intimate details about your life dreams and desires, challenges and accomplishments.

You may be feeling bonds of true friendship and affection in your virtual relationship.

When you get to know someone during video chats, you can see their face light up onscreen, because they are happy to talk with you. And you get a sense of their character, their qualities, your sparks of chemistry in video conversations.

Your positive, informative, entertaining e-connections and video chats with potential love matches serve a vital purpose:

They are not a substitute for live interactions. They are a step bridge that helps you take the next step in your virtual relationship and make a real connection with your virtual date.

If you want to meet your great love online, you will want to meet face-to-face as soon as possible in your virtual relationship.

You can plan to meet safely in a public place or during group outings, special events or travel adventures offered in the new generation of online dating sites. The sooner you meet in person, the sooner you know for sure if you have real potential to build a real bridge together as a loving couple.

Online Dating The Art of Selection

Dating manuals thick as telephone directories can be written on the subject of selecting the right dating partner. The key to the selection process is not to focus on our potential dating partner, but to focus on our ingrained human instincts. What are these human instincts? Imagination and desire are our enemies!

As we approach dating relationships from our own point of view, many individuals fall short in reaching their goals. There are countless reasons why most individuals finish in last place when commencing to build healthy dating relationships. Imagination and desire will cripple a dating relationship before the relationship starts, and before you know it, you are right back at the starting gate with a new dating partner or wish you were!

Beginning the dating process, we often focus on what we want in our dating partner and not his/her present composition. Captive is our rational self by our imagination and blinded by desire. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos, profiles or personal ads online – we immediately enter an imaginary world, especially if he/she is physically attractive. It is our own little world constructed by our imagination; at this point, we lose all sense of reality. Reality is what exists now and imagination is what we want to exist, which is the total opposite. Our reliant on our intoxicated senses, intoxicated by imagination and desire leads us into total darkness. As a result, our objectivity fades away into the background.

This unreal portrayal depicts a fictional fairytale hero that originates from the desire to realize the storybook romance. On the surface, the storybook romance syndrome appears to be harmless. When individuals attempt to convert their imagination into a dating reality, total destruction visits the dating relationship, leaving the residue of psychological devastation behind. The storybook romance syndrome has defaced the truth about dating relationships, retarding them from ever having a chance of realizing success.

To achieve a blissful dating relationship with the hope of achieving a long lasting marriage, you must not select a dating partner based on your imagination. You must remain focused on reality; you must also focus on objectivity and not subjectivity. In the absence of an objective criteria to resort to in selecting your dating partner; your only alternative is to turn to a sincere, trusted family member or friend for help in the selection process. They will be more incline to exercise an objective approach. Remember this, when you are in the picture, you can’t see the picture! Investigate patiently your potential dating partner and never rely on your own senses, you may finish first in the race to a healthy dating relationship. Good Luck!